As a pregnant woman, you get asked a lot of questions - some odd, some normal and some totally predictable.
For example, a few months back I was crossing a fairly busy intersection downtown Toronto, when an early 20-something yelled out, “How is being pregnant?” as we walked past each other. Without stopping, I said the first thing that came to my mind - awesome! She responded with, “Really?!”, as I laughed and kept on walking.
Awesome? That’s the best I could come up with? It was a lie. This pregnancy has not been what I would call awesome. But, what did she expect me to do? Stop mid-intersection and say, “I’m sore, my feet are swollen, I don’t sleep and for the first few months I was nauseous as hell”? And so, I went with awesome. She seemed satisfied enough with the answer as I walked away.
Like I said, some questions are odd.
By far, the biggest question I get when people find out I’m pregnant is, “Do you know what you’re having?”. It’s pretty common, and really comes at any point in the pregnancy and from anyone - man, woman, old, young. You name it, they’ve asked.
And when I give them the answer, they always seem surprised.
The answer is no. As in, no we did not find out what we were having. Not with baby number one. And not with baby number two.
When I was pregnant with Morley, I never would have guessed I was having a girl. From day one, I was convinced it was a boy. I read into all the signs - my OB telling me the baby had a “girl’s heartbeat” (of course she was playing mind games with me) and the ultrasound tech quickly moving the screen as she looked between baby’s legs (because she didn’t want me to see what was there). I was even told how I was carrying was indicative of a boy. Surely someone who’s gone through it before would know the truth in that, right?
In fact, I was so convinced, I had also convinced others. Mainly my family. When Steve walked out of the delivery room saying it was a girl, there was a bit of shock before the tears of joy. That’s how convinced they were.
This go around, I haven’t even wagered a guess. I stay mum when people ask. When you’re pregnant, everyone assumes you have a preference. The fact is, I didn’t and don’t care what we have. I think we both agree when I say, we just want a healthy baby.
If genetics had their way, we would be having a boy. I am the oldest of three kids with a younger brother next in line and Steve is youngest of two with an older sister. Girl, boy would be the trend.
But, I am also fully prepared to be a girl mom. We march to the beat of our own drum, so it wouldn’t surprise us to “buck the family trend”. (And if that’s the case, I pity my husband. There are going to be some serious hormonal girl spats in his future.)
Many people don’t find out the gender for many different reasons. For some, it may help to teach them what it feels like to lose control - you know, when your house is an absolute mess and there is nothing you can do about it loss of control. It may also help with the shopping - if you don’t know what you’re having you can’t go wild buying pink or blue. Or, like many suggest, it may help with “the final push” - the eagerness to meet your little miss or mr helps you get through those final moments of labour.
Having gone through it once before, I can’t be certain it helps in the moment, but I do think it comes down to the anticipation. Call me crazy, but I like the element of surprise (and I’m not typically one for surprises). Personally, I think it’s one of the biggest surprises we will ever experience in life. It sure is an exciting moment when the doctor says, “It’s a little [insert gender here]”. For us, no confetti filled balloon or coloured cake reveal could top that moment.
So that is why we wait. It could be a few days or it could be a few more weeks, but we will wait for the ultimate gender reveal. And that, my friends, is the deal.
Oh, and if you’re wondering what the second most common question a pregnant woman gets usually is? It’s, “Will you be getting an epidural?”. To which I quickly respond, “Ah, hell yes.”
Did you find out the gender of your children? Why or why not? I’d love to know!
