“You’ve got this!” Three words I would hear all the time when pregnant with my second child. They were almost always followed by, “You already have a little one, what more could you need to know?”
Truth is, when we found out we were pregnant with our second, I was nervous. I was MORE nervous for number two than I was when pregnant with our first.
I knew having a baby would change things. Our social life would change, our routines would change and even our relationship would change. I knew that was inevitable.
But with baby number two, I didn’t know what to expect. We were so cozy as a little family of three, how would our established rhythm change? The unknown of becoming a two kid family was what made me nervous.
Since little sister’s birth late summer 2018, it’s safe to say things are definitely different. Things have changed in ways that I did expect, and ways that I could not have expected. Some of the things that have changed I absolutely love, and some are still up for debate. Some things we knew how to handle, and some things we had to learn from scratch.
But the truth is, kids don’t come with a user manual. Regardless of having one, two, three or ten, being a parent is a “learn on the job” kind of role.
Adjusting to the challenges that come with growing your family is also something you must learn as you go.
I’m no expert, but here are just a few of the things that I’ve learned in the past 14(ish) months since becoming a family of four.
Kids are different. Seems like a no brainer right? I knew they would be different, but I don’t think I knew just HOW different they’d be. The second child is never the same as the first, and you must start all over again. What may be true for one, may not be for the other. There are clear differences between them, and you must learn to adapt and change (or relearn) your way of thinking.
Take sleeping for example…
Exhaustion is real. Not to toot my own horn, but my oldest daughter was a pretty good sleeper when she was a baby. We knew she was setting the bar high in the sleep department, but didn’t know by how much. Little sister? Not the best. Definite room for improvement. I now know the true meaning of sleep deprivation.
Privacy does not exist. Think you didn’t get alone time before? Ha! There is NO such thing as alone when you have more than one child. In the shower, sitting on the toilet, brushing your teeth, making dinner - now there will always be someone right there beside you demanding your attention. Yes, even if dad is home.
And with the lack of privacy comes…
You’ll never have enough hands. Honestly. My oldest needs a snack at the most inconvenient of times - when I started cutting raw chicken for dinner, when I’m in the bathroom, when I started feeding her sister (weird, eh?). And it’s not just a, “I would like a snack”. No, it’s a full on, “I need a snack now or I may starve to death.” One hand per child is not enough.
Time is a thief. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “The days are long, but the years fly by.” I knew this was true with baby number one, but since having number two, I live it every day. I feel like I’ve time travelled through the past year an a bit, and know that time won’t be slowing down any time soon.
Don’t mess with sibling love. Being the oldest of three, I understand the strong bond siblings share. But being able to sit back and watch it grow, is something truly special. While their love for each other wasn’t immediate, and they have their odd spats (which for right now include their fair share of grabbing, scratching and hair pulling), their relationship is amazing. The way they look at each other, make each other laugh and talk to each other in their ‘secret’ language that only they can understand, has made my heart swell to a size I never knew was possible.
And with that special relationship comes…
Sharing is caring. I’m happy my oldest knows how to share with her little sister, but having more than one child has taken sharing to a whole new level. This includes sharing illness. When it comes to sharing germs, no thank you.
With big sister in preschool, I knew her bringing home germs was inevitable, but what I didn’t know was that it would be a constant cycle of cough, sneeze, rrunny nose, regardless of the season.
While there may be a lot of things to learn with being a family of four, one thing we can rely on is Children's Advil. In families with children in school, the number of colds per child can be as high as 12 a year (1)! So, when big sister comes home with a bug, Children’s Advil (for children age 2-12 years) provides her with up to 8 hours of fever relief so that she can get back to being a kid.
Life with a preschooler and toddler isn’t always easy, but it’s our new normal. It’s going to be a hard journey to raise these strong little ladies. I know I won’t end every day with a smile, but I’m ready for the challenge.
Do you have two or more kids? What’s the ONE piece of advice you would give to someone growing their family? I’d love to hear!
*Disclosure: I have partnered with Children’s Advil and have received compensation for this post. As always, all opinions and experiences are 100% that of To & Fro. Be sure this product is right for your kids, always read and follow the label.
References:
1. https://www.webmd.com/cold-and-fly/common_cold_overview
1. https://www.webmd.com/cold-and-fly/common_cold_overview
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